were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
