i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
what day is it and did you see me today?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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