hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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