he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
