he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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