I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
