A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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