hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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