I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize