You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
