I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
