Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
