it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
