I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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