You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
