Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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