We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
