I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
