I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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