garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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