I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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