is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
