doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
not ubering you a puppy
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize