Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
