Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
