I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I could fuck to npr.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
