I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
