Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize