what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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