Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
