Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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