Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There r osticjed everywhere
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
