He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
