What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I can text with my tongue
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
