May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
