Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
