Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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