I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Are my feet made of real feet?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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