You smell like a Billy Joel song
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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