"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
