I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
