girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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