the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Is it because I queefed?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
