I accidentally had phone sex last night
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My vagina is very pro this idea
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
