im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
dude i'm inner monologue high
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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