Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
