A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
