Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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