He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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