You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
