OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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