Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
