Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
