hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i wish my penis had a tongue
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
