Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
whose parrot is this?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize