Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
