Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
im holly from the hills drunk
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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