im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
