there was a trapeze. enough said
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize