I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize