We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
