ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
