i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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