This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
