How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
