I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
