I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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