Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
