my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize