yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
