so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
